Bad hair day
by Thefaceofmoi
Summary: Jim's and Scotty's prank war is getting out of hand. When by mistake Bones gets what was destined for Jim, they have to do something to stop the gossip.


Jim's and Scotty's prank war had been going on for months. And though it started as innocent fun, things were taking chaotic measures now.

It all started with Scotty waking up one morning with a drawn on moustache. It was obvious who had transferred Scotty to Sancho, and so revenge had to be given. The next day, Jim constantly wondered as to why he was receiving so many slightly amused looks from the crew whilst cruising on the Enterprise. In the evening, when he was undressing he found the reason. There had been a note on his back saying: "what you staring at my perfect arse for, get back to work you wee bastards!"

So all pretty silly little pranks at the beginning, but now Scotty and Jim took the war almost as seriously as their duties on the ship. Okay, maybe not that seriously. But seriously nonetheless.

After walking into the engine room one morning and finding hundreds of pairs of bright pink knickers hanging from all possible places, Scotty decided it was time to end it, once and for all. "You got to sting them where it hurts," Scotty explained to Keenser while they were checking over the warp reactor, "and our mr captain is a vain laddie, you know, his hair is the perfect target."

"So you come at last," Jim said as Bones entered the room. He had been already waiting there for over half and hour and was getting impatient. Jim usually got off duty before Bones and had to wait an hour or so before his lover arrived. He always got impatient, the kid he was, used to getting everything he wants, when he wants it. That wasn't how things worked with Bones, but Jim didn't mind, he could wait a life time for that guy. Well, theoretically speaking. "Well fuck Jim, some of us have serious problems to clear and don't get to just sit on a comfy chair the whole day," explained Bones with a little smile, but still trying to furrow his brow to make it look like he was actually mad at Jim. He never could be, though, that smug little smile of his and that confidence in every move made him melt quicker than butter on a hot stove, not that he would admit that to Jim any day, but that was the truth.

"Come here you grumpy shit, today's cuddle day," said Jim laughing and patting the place next to him on the bed. Bones just chuckled, kicked off his shoes, got rid of his shirt and slipped onto the bed next to Jim, letting him support his head on Bones' chest. He played with Jim's golden hair adoringly, listening to Jim's slow breaths, and asked him with genuine curiosity, but also slight nervousness for the consequence: "Don't you think your little prank war with Scotty should stop? Like maybe for once you could do the more mature thing, and actually give up?"

Jim immediately turned his head to face Bones and answered him with denial, proving what a child he was inside. "What? Noo, just when things are starting to get interesting? Right now I'm waiting for the payback for my knicker twist," Jim said, looking at Bones, lips curled up in a wide, mischievous grin.

"Yeah, bout that, where the fuck did you get so many knickers? Last time I checked we were on a spaceship, not at the neighbourhood mall?" Bones asked furrowing his brow like he always did, the person of authority he was, always feeling like he had to grab the reins and prevent a disaster from happening. He wasn't as strict with Jim, though - the blunt tone and rigid posture he usually used on the crew members wasn't present, but instead replaced with a slight forehead crease of concern.

"That information is classified, I'm afraid," Jim said, trying his best to keep a straight face, challenging Bones, but having it come off as a failed attempt.

"Dammit Jim, you little..." Bones started, but was cut off by a kiss from Jim. He grabbed Bones' hair and tried to deepen the kiss, but Bones pulled away. "Oh no Jim, I'm far too tired for this shit. Good night!" he said and turned his back to Jim. Jim just sighed, shook his head slightly and cuddled closer to Bones. "Night, Bones."

Next morning, when Jim woke, Bones had already been showering. He thought about joining him for a moment, but wrote it off as a bad idea, thinking they would get far too distracted to get to work on the right time. He got dressed, slipped on his shoes, checked his hair and left the room.

Bones stepped out of the shower to the steamy bathroom and wrapped a soft white towel around his abdomen. He took another one of the towels, this time a more little one and started drying his soaked, still soft from the conditioner, hair. After a few minutes he looked into the mirror and was greeted by a sight he wasn't expecting. "God fucking dammit," he whispered.

Scotty was having a top day and walked towards the bridge to see the infamous captain Kirk with bright pink hair. He had been whistling and singing the whole morning and many of the crew members thought that to be weird of the usually grumpy scottish engineer. "Oh this will be good," he thought to himself, "Our heroic captain, with bright pink hair. I bet even he can't pull that look off."

"Jim. Jim! Captain Kirk!" Bones said into the communicator, trying to reach his captain desperately. "Yes Bones," Jim answered having finally reached his communicator. "Could you, please, come to the medical ward immediately?" Bones asked emphasizing the "immediately" and slowly losing his patience. "Sorry, I've got stuff here, Bones, why don't you come up to the bridge?" Jim answered looking over some mapping Sulu had showed him. "No, there's no way I'm stepping on the bridge today, Jim, theres a problem," Bones said glancing at the mirror right across him and moving a strand of bright pink hair from his forehead. "What, Bones, just come here," Jim demanded, losing his patience as well. He knew Bones knew that he wouldn't leave the bridge unless something problematic needed to be solved. "Dammit Jim, I'm coming then," Bones said, evidently irritated, "but you better brace yourself." "What's the problem Bones?" "Oh you're gonna see it soon enough, I'm on my way."

Scotty arrived to the bridge and said "So, how's everyone doing today?" with a big smile on his face that faded the moment he saw the captain was having perfectly usual hair. Of course, this had to be the day the captain didn't take a shower. "Oh, we're great Scotty, how are you?" Uhura answered. "Oh ya know, having a top day," he answered sarcastically. "So captain.." Scott started, but was interrupted by Jim's jaw falling to the floor. Scott turned to see what Jim was looking at and there stood Bones, their chief medical inspector, with bright pink hair.

"What, Scott, you're taking on Mccoy now also?" Uhura asked. She had been eyeing Bones' pink hair up and down and came to the conclusion it couldn't have been none else's than the mischievous Scotty's handwork. Jim and Bones had distanced themselves from everybody else and were discussing something with vigorous hand gestures and furious whispering.

"Nooo, I put the dye into Jim's bottle. I don't know how it got mixed with the doctor's hair," Scotty answered, lips curling to a wide grin before continuing, "I was just wondering earlier why our captain hadn't washed his hair this morning. Maybe a laddie had occupied his shower before he woke up."

"Are you implying that, Jim and Mccoy? Oh, that could be possible," Uhura said, thinking of all the times the crew had hung out but Jim and Bones had gotten some shitty excuses for not coming. They chuckled and Scotty added, "Oh, young love."

"Oh god, Jim, everybody's gonna know," Bones whispered. It wasn't that much of a problem, but a shock to him. He had always known they had to come out one day, but he imagined it to be on their own terms, when they were ready and had talked about it and considered everything. "Relax, Bones, it's nothing," Jim answered, relaxed about the issue as he always was when he could handle things, "the crew are not such big gossipers. Anyway it's not like we could've keep it a secret for much longer?" "Okay, but I just don't want whispers following me when I'm walking round the ship, so you gotta think of a way to let everyone know and stop the gossip, I hate gossip." "Oh I can do that, right now even," Jim answered, turned around and walked to his chair. "Put me on the monitors all around the ship Sulu," Jim said and, turning to Bones, added, "time to make it official." Bones tried to stop him, but Sulu was quickly on the job. "This is not a good idea, i can feel it," Bones thought. "Aye-aye, captain," Sulu said, "you're live all around the ship."

"I'm sure many of you have already noticed the style change in Dr. Mccoy's hair. And maybe thought of how this could have been Scotty's prank for me, but why does the doctor have bright pink hair then? You are correct, this is the handwork of our engineer Mr. Scott and it was addressed for me, it was my shampoo that gave Dr. Mccoy the look he has now. Now you can make your own conclusions from that and I can tell you that you're most likely right. This has been a public service announcement, now get on with your jobs. Kirk out."

"Dammit Jim, that was so not the right way to handle things," Bones said when they had returned to captains bedroom, "I got even more looks than I had gotten before." "Oh, Bones, relax, I think I handled it pretty well," Jim answered smiling, pressing a soft kiss on Bones' lips and adding after pulling away slightly, "Plus I think you look really cute with pink hair." "Oh stop it Jim, I look like Nicki Minaj," Bones said, sliding off his shoes and sitting onto the bed. "Who in the world is that?" "Oh, she's and old classic from the 21st century, a singer," Bones answered. When there was one thing he knew, it was classical singers. He didn't listen to them or anything, but he loved to find out about what had people been interested in in the past. "You and your classics," Jim said, chuckling and sitting down on the bed next to Bones. They laid down and Jim played with Bones' bright pink hair. "You're not gonna get it coloured over, are you?" he asked. He loved the cute, almost vulnerable look the pink hair gave to Bones. "Maybe not," Bones answered, pulling Jim in to a deep kiss and grabbing his soft hair, "if you convince me not to."


End file.
